When I give talks on how to make wise decisions about love relationships, the burning question that someone almost always asks is, “How long do I have to wait?
They don't know whether they are moving forward because of inertia--particularly because of living together--or because being together forever actually makes sense.
The couple that is not sleeping together isn't worried about how they will feel after the initial glow of sex wears off because their relationship and commitment were not founded upon a sexual relationship. This is almost universally declaring sex before marriage a necessity. My friend however, got married after a month and has now been together for 16 years...
Real compatibility is hard to assess based on limited opportunities for interaction.
The fantasy script of the stateside partner incorporates the potent thought, “My partner is a hero,” and all sorts of positive traits are then linked to this global perception.
I got hitched almost 40 years ago and nobody then waited for marriage or an engagement to start boinking - we didn't wait a week - so I can't imagine anyone's waiting now. I waited two years before I got married and it lasted 5 months. Provide the actual statistics when you reference them, because this just sounds like a bunch of cultural bias when you take into consideration that arranged marriages can and do work in the East.
I think the wait is to ensure compatibility in realms beyond the bedroom. Where is YOUR statistical proof that arranged marriages can and do work?
Some marital experts would argue that two years is a good amount of time to wait.
If you are looking for a general rule of thumb, then two years is probably a good length of time for most people, but I don’t personally favor any hard-and-fast rule about how long a courtship should be.
We simply know better than to take chances on lifelong decisions just for the sake of tradition, whereas in some parts of the East, they still make that mistake, as is also evident through all the war going on over there.
I am a 42 year old woman who has been with a special person for only 4 months.
Some of the four-year-olds were able to control their impulse to snatch up and consume their marshmallows for the duration of Mischel’s 15–20-minute errand (which must have felt like several lifetimes for these four-year-olds). Mischel followed up with his subjects many years later and found that the ability to control impulses and delay gratification was associated with success in many different areas of life as an adult.