Dealing with dating a widower

It’s helpful to have an idea of what you want your wills to look like in terms of what goes to whom and how you each plan to care for the other in the event of incapacitating illness and death. Don’t be that elderly woman who is living in a house owned by her step-children who are just waiting for her to die so they can sell it.If there are assets or minor children that need special considerations, discuss and plan for that too. Conversely, don’t be that old man whose late wife’s jewelry ended up in the hands of his second wife’s daughter-in-law because it wasn’t specified in the will that it should go to his granddaughter.

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eating or paying the property tax and keeping a roof over their elderly heads. Their mommy or daddy would have wanted you to put your new spouse at the mercy of your greedy kids because after all, she or he worked themselves to death for the money that was left to you. They took out that life insurance or built up the retirement plan to take care of you. Not your grown up kids, who you should have been taught well enough to be able to pay their own bills, save for their own retirement and goodies. Money we inherit is no longer anyone’s money but ours.

Yes, we have an obligation to use it for the benefit of our minor children and to see that our very young adult children find a good footing in life, but at some point our kids get old. Sometimes as old as we were when we were widowed in the first place.

They see their parents and grandparents as some sort of long-range saving plan.

A way to pay off the mortgage, plump up retirement plans or just have a wad of cash to fritter away on vacations and material crap.

I would have been dating again within a year if I had not been in a car accident that put me out of action for 9 months.

One is ready to date again whenever solitude gives way to loneliness.Inheritance is a form of expectation based upon nothing more than the notion that because you sired or birthed them, they are entitled to some sort of monetary reward triggered by your death.It’s wonderful when we can leave our kids, or grandkids, a little something, or even a lot of something, but we should shy far away from leading them to expect this from us.Second marriages make these kinds of people – nervous.They have visions of “their” inheritances being used frivolously by step-parents for outrageous things like …What self-respecting person signs willingly to be accused of being a gold-digger and ends up on cat food and public assistance so their step-children can one day indulge themselves on e Bay?