Jehovah witness on dating

I just set a date for a "Bible Study" for June 28th. It's a long story how this happened, but I said that I would do it.His daughter and I have been dating for about a year and a half.Growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness (JW) can warp and twist a young person’s mind about many activities, sex in particular. Sitting in the Kingdom Hall as a young child, I would hear talks about sex, but they were, for the most part, warnings about what not to do—what was moral and what was not— but mostly not. So I promised myself that as soon I found out what the heck they were, I would never do them.

When I finished that, she had me create another list of twenty-five qualities that I wanted in a partner. “If you can’t think of at least twenty-five qualities, you don’t know what you are looking for.” Then we moved to a list of twenty-five things that I’d like to have in a relationship with a guy.She said, “If you can’t list at least twenty-five things, you don’t know what you want.” During this time while I was making lists and learning about myself, I was living in a no-date zone. I was learning how to say “no.” I was interacting with men as individuals, not just as potential dates.I felt no need to be with someone to fill a void in my life. I often joke with him, saying that he “ruined my life” by being so wonderful.I found him interesting and wanted to get to know him better. I can also say that he hit twenty-four out of the twenty-five qualities that I wanted in a partner.She was disfellowshipped when I met her and just recently returned to the organization about 6 weeks ago.

I wasn't sure how I would discuss with her father on the issue.

I began to realize that I had value as a person, not just someone who pays “dues,” and kept up the no-date-zone for a while.

I became particular – maybe even rather “picky” – about who I wanted to date.

That created other problems, which forced me to leave the so-called “truth.” After getting over the “All men are evil and must be destroyed” depression, I jumped full throttle into the “dating pool.” I put “dating” in quotations, because as ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses know, JWs don’t really “date.” Dating leads to sex, therefore it’s better to get married as soon as possible, because Needless to say, I didn’t know what I was doing. You see, my idea of the “love” men have for women, wasn’t the same kind of “love” women feel for men. While whining to a friend about dating, it occurred to me that I didn’t know how to . I was insecure – feeling that if I wasn’t with another person, people would think there was something wrong with me – that it was better for me to be with someone than it was to be single—a weird self-image. “Either you’re going to move to the solution or you are going to shut the hell up, because I have better things to do with my time.” I wanted help, so I decided to move to the solution.

My understanding was that men love sex, and the “love” they feel for a woman or even their kids—I still marvel over fathers who WANT to play with their kids—was more of an ownership kind of love – like they’d love their car, TV, or fishing pole. She went on to say that I needed a good dose of self-respect and presented me with a “homework assignment.” I would take a break from dating and make a list of twenty-five things I liked about myself.

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